We are in a time where we can really learn to (date ourselves) to really get intouch with who we are and what makes us tick. We can either be scared during this time at home or use it as a time to learn new things, get intouch with our innerself, reinvent ourselves. What are you doing while at home, what are your Covid 19 positive experiences, how has this time changed and shaped the person you will be in the new “Normal”. I
Woke up one morning and relized that I have time to redecorate, listen to someone else, cook new meals, read more and commune with nature while sitting still.
What does Denika really like, how can I motivate myself and not get bogged down in the depression. It is hard especially if you live alone and have noone to commune with. I cannot drown myself in a glass of wine each night. I started an in home garden where I am planting basil and peppers but I need to add other things. Any suggestions?
I intend to start from scratch, become the person I miss, take more chances and work on living in the moment more. So here is to living, laughing, discovering the old/new you and pushing that YOU beyond the comfortable and to the length that makes you feel scared inside and take that leap. Be safe, make good choices and I will see you in the new “Normal”.
Happiness, what do you think of when you hear or say this word? The dictionary siply describes (happiness) as the state of being happy. As we are rwuired to stay in and in some cases quarantine ourselves with family and other I think happiness and what it means are truly understood. This is a scary time for us all, for some it will be a time of reflection others will complete projects and start new ones others like me with do all of the above and commune with oneself. I decided at the start of this Pandemic/distraction to move myself and my daughter to somewhere Sunny and to my friends house who feels like home to me.
I was not sure what I expected but I have been at complete peace since I stepped into her door. That no worries, complete accord, acceptance and love that comes from being with people that truly care for you and allow you to be yourself and accet you as you are. While here I decided to take morning walks/runs in part to spend time with myself and the other is in accord with my health journey. I woke up one morning after being here for a week and realized that for the first time in my life since the birth of my daughter I was truly HAPPY. The anxiety suddenly disappeared, I wasnt juggling the many issues I had back home and I wasnt even stressing as I usually do over bills. In fact I find myself looking forward to each day and what it might bring, I am laughing more and being able to feel the sun on my skin is such a blessing.
I have realized more that my happiness also comes from the Sun and heat, I thrive in it. I have had several Endo/IBS flares since I have been here and it doesnt seem as bad as when I am home. This abilty to sit in peace and communie with myself and the sun has brought me my JOY. It is an important part of life and often we get so caught up in our day to day lives that we forget to take time for ourself or to understand the people we really are. Find your Joy and if this moment in time teaches you nothing else I hope you understand that life is precious and you should live each day to the max making sure to include joy and laughter.
I go home Saturday and anxiety has suddenly set in and I wonder if this glow will leave as suddenly as it came.
Until next time, live in the moment, find your joy and be happy.
Follow my pages on IG @datingmyself365 @caribbeancurvystrong @sexyreds14
So I stepped on the scale yesterday randomly and got the biggest shock of my life, 215 pounds and all I could feel was disgust. How the hell did I let that crap happen, where was my brain for this whole process. It’s not to say that I am an overzealous eater, but thinking back I guess I was emotionally eating and just not realizing it. It amazes me how your life can move and you do not have to be a part of it. My grandmother passed in July of 2017 and that turned my whole world and family upside down. I found myself completely depressed but so much so I was functional. Mornings with 1800 or Jose and orange juice with some mango and bacon would get me through most days.
Things got so bad that I found myself in a tub with a razor and my wrists, totally out of control and never asking for help. This is me constantly, people constantly look at me and say things like “you seem healthy, happy” blah blah blah, if only they new. My smile hides every aspect of my turmoil, I suffer in silence and take things out on myself. Well here we are almost three years later and after so much work to get myself to my goal body and happy with me hello 60 pounds. I am devestated that I let things go this far and that I have made horrible choices and basically disconnected from life, body, reason and just let myself go. How many of you have gotten here, where you are so deep in your own crap you cannot see reality.
I am completely awake now though and while I am going to take all of my moments one day at a time I am taking the first step. Yes it is going to be hard, yes I am still going to struggle with asking for help but I do plan on being 60 pounds lighter come December 31, 2020 Blood, sweat and tears. My pescatarian diet I think needs to go out the window for 30-90 days and I might need to try Vegan. Any receipes you guys like that do not include tofu?
Thank you all for reading I also would love to hear from you, I plan to write more frequently and stay tuned for more cooking with datingmyself365.
Follow me on IG @datingmyself365 @caribbeancurvystrong @sexyreds14
I am horrid at this blog, life, adult business I’ve come to realize. I suppose setting reminders and such to make sure I post will have to be my next step. I promise to also update the IG account with new pics.
As I am coming to the close of this year-long journey I have come to the realization that people actually need to empower themselves more. I was surprised at how many people follow me, watch the IG page and have started a journey of their own, this makes my heart full. With this in mind when my one year journey ends I plan to continue #datingmyself365 and bring you more things so stay tuned.
It’s not about being single or in a relationship, it is about getting back to the most important relationship in the world, the one you have with yourself. Sometimes we lose sight of our own wants, needs, desires and truths and the burdens of life are heaped on top of us. As this “door” gets ready to close, I am walking into one where I have more of an understanding of who Denika is and what I want to get out of this world and what I want to give back to it. Stay tuned as I will reveal and update on the 29th of September all of my new information.
Please also consider following my non-profit www. caribbeancurvystrong.org
Yes I have been MIA since November, my apologies it was not intentional. While I was absent I discovered how what I started as a challenge to myself was helping others to redefine and challenge their own lives. It is truly humbling and keeps me in awe that I have any reach at all. All I can say is keep pushing and take everything one moment at a time.
So back to my absence, I was busy trying to finish another master’s degree and I have to say this MBA was and is still kicking my ass. My brain seems to have gotten lazy but I will not quit and I am happy to say that come August 5th I will be graduating. Next step is to go back and finish law school (pray for me). Also during this time I was getting my daughter ready to finish high school and start her college journey. that is another humbling experience I will go into at another time.
So updates, In January I officially finished my #consistentbaggagedrop120, that left me in a truly amazing place surrounded by people who not only cared for me but also those that can help influence my life. this journey to get to know Denika again and not the mother, daughter and other persons I have been for the last 18 and 1/2 years has set me on my ass at times. I have also been depressed, brought to tears and I am still standing.
The journey continues and I promise to have weekly if not daily updates on next steps, please see IG as I will update pictures there. Talk soon!
Yes I said it. I do see the dates between myself and the gym, bookstore, movies and other places as real but it is nice to be asked to go for a meal with someone. The trouble is I keep blowing him off and I’m sure that he will eventually stop asking. So step one of jumping back on the horse is taking the first step. Wish me luck!
In other news I think I am ready to add yoga and a dance class to my work out regiment. Searching for the best compliments of the other.
Just living and trying to focus, adjust and make it through both of these journeys.
I seem to be formulating my thoughts in seven day hauls. I feel so busy right now that I barely have moments to breathe. Dating my self is going well I am discovering new things, contemplating the changes of some old and tweak some of the others that are just me. Spicy, inpatient, smart, caring, loving, traveling me; I am sure I can think or others but I digress. I am a little of a month into my 120 day Consistent baggage drop and the dating myself journey and while it is filled with up hill battles I am ready to face them all head on and one step at a time.
I am not sure if the gym is my happy place but running and walking are, but I hate the cold so can someone suggest a happy medium as I need to tone these last thirty pounds.
Thats all for now, I will try to be more consistent but I have so much on my plate and I am learning to prioritize better, cause clearly I suck at it. Pics are still being uploaded on my IG page at least I am somewhat consistent with that.
Well I am back, I thought it was longer but it has only been seven days, but seven days too long. After a week of medical issues with my teenager I had to take several more days to reset. I have been horrid over the past week, my food intake and excercise have been non existent sadly. Now I feel as though I am starting from scratch again, but really I am still spending more alone time with myself (and I need to get out more) and I have now been at this for 26 and 25 days.
Forward movement is the only way I know to go so last week is behind me and I am focusing on tomorrow is the universe grants me one. I am actually looking forward to the end of the first one hundred and twenty days, can’t wait to see the results and where I am going from there.
Next steps are to follow a strict gym/eating plan for thirty days and also I get to start yoga and a dance class this month. I’m still trying to fit that soca aerobics class in but just havent made it. Timing is truly everything and I can’t currently figure out if I am right on time or slightly off. I guess only time will tell, praying and fighting for the best though. As always visit my IG page for pics.
Thankful for my village, without whom I would probably have given it all up by now. I am so happy to say that I am now several days into week two, geesh has it only been two weeks? It feels like forever, lets just say is has been 19 days into my 365 day journey and 17 days into my 120 day consistent baggage drop. I seem to be having the time of my life even with all of the ups and downs and starts and stops.
The lessons I am learning is that you should always take time to laugh at yourself, life goes on, this too shall pass and if you are strong you can get through anything. I am still working on getting rid of the things I can live without in the house, (declutter central) I expect that Aminah will give me the biggest push back and my closet even bigger but I will do it.
I look forward to the end of this week and even more to the end of the first month. I am very close to having lost ten pounds so that means I have ten more to go and then twenty to tone. yayyy
Where do I start, Friday was an awesome day filled with many starts but no finishes. Although my angel did go to her last high school homecoming dance and looked amazing as usual.
Yesterday however takes the cake, the realization that I am mom, taxi, atm, cook, therapist, lover, friend, sister, and so many other things while still trying to maintain my fragile existence is overwhelming. I did however work out yesterday with Kellie the gm beast, she is simply amazing and has so much stamina. I think we were destined to be friends and I’m so grateful the universe finally threw us together.
As to my dating my self Friday or yesterday, I took my self to bed Friday and out to an arts panel with Kellie on Saturday and then the three of us had dinner. Kellie, Jha and I, loads of fun and laughter per usual. I had everything I wasnt supposed to food wise, I am still maintaining the no alcohol policy at least. I am alive and I goo two weeks in and managing pit falls and all. I will write another one of these today I feel I have been slacking lately, but maybe I wont. I still havent figured if these will be daily, weekly, or monthly checkins.